Thinking about Homeschooling?

I have been thinking a lot and reading a whole lot about homeschooling. The research supporting the benefits of homeschooling versus conventional schooling is astounding!
So, you homeschooling mamas out there: please give me some feedback..why do you homeschool? Why do you homeschool? What obstacles have you encountered? Is it working? How long do you plan to do it? Etc...

Thanks!

Power of a Kiss

Tonight, my hubby was exhausted and is still recovering from a flu, so he went to bed super early. When it was time for my three year old to get ready for night-night, he asked if he could pee in my bathroom since his older sister was using theirs (the kid bathroom). So, we went into my bathroom, he peed (yay!). Then, he walked into our bedroom and kissed Daddy on his head while he slept. Then, he whispered to his daddy, "Daddy, I kissed you on your head. Now you can have power that I gave you and your head won't hurt anymore." This melted my heart, of course. And got me thinking, where did he get such an idea? Well, if you know me, you know that I am a migraine sufferer (a migraineur, my doctor would say), and often when I get a bad migraine, my hubby will hold me and plant a kiss on my head. Tommy surely saw him do this on more than one occasion. But, what about the "power" part? Where did he get this idea? Well, we our kids fall and get boo-boos, we kiss them better. When they are scared and they cry, we hug them and kiss them. So, if you think about it, kisses are a source of power and comfort for a child. For us adults, too. Maybe we just don't believe it the power of the kiss as much as we should. Children can teach us so much.

Caliou

Can I just take a moment to tell you about my love/hate relationship with Caliou? If you're the mom of a toddler or preschooler, you know who I'm talking about--that creepy bald-headed kid with his own cartoon that is supposed to be like a storybook, I think, because the weird cat and other animal puppets sometimes show up and talk about it and some granny narrates it, and the scenes look like unfinished drawings. I know, I'm rambling, but, come on! You have to admit, this cartoon is a bit odd. I love it because it keeps my three year old enthralled long enough to fold a load of laundry or load the dishwasher. But, I hate it because I will have the tune of this show in my head all damned day. I will find myself humming it while I mop the floors or belting it out in the shower. It will occupy my brain all day, laying dormant until a quiet moment, then, it will resurface and drive me nuts! Damn that Caliou!

I promised I wouldn't....

I promised I wouldn't say, er, type the word, pee on this blog again, but here I am... PEE, PEE, PEE! This is what my three year old is doing only not in the gosh darned potty! No, that's not entirely true, he does pee in the potty when I tell him to go in there and try to pee, but if I don't say a peep, he just pees wherever he happens to be standing or sitting. I am ready to pull my hair out! I cannot believe that his being sick and being in diapers during that time has brought him back so far. His attitude now is one where he seems almost delighted to pee in his underwear. If you have any advice out there, Mamas to boys, please let me know. And, please don't tell me Cheerios (or other cereals or round things) for him to aim at. I tried it, it freaked him out, I think.

Three pees forward, and one pee back

Okay, yes, pee is still on my mind (and my carpet and my bedding, and..). It wasn't but a week or so ago that I announced to the world that I had successfully potty trained my headstrong boy, but now... Well, we have had a back slide, so to speak. My little man wound up getting sick with a horrible flu and was down for almost five days! He was in the hospital for two of these five days, and, since, he couldn't get out of bed, we surrendered the undies and put the diapers back on. Well, as you can imagine, this made my little ankle-biter a bit lazy and, even after he was better, he wasn't too keen on the underwear thing. So, I allowed him one more day of diapers. Then, we threw them away and I told my little fella, no more diapers, no more Pull-ups, you are three and it is just not allowed. He relented. So, now, this is day two of underweardom and I am happy to report that we are in our first Spongebob and hoping that things don't get wet down under.

Down Under

Potty talk has been about the only talk going on in this house, and my mind has been absolutely consumed with the workings of my three-year old's digestion. It's sick, I know. But, come on, fellow mothers in the potty-training trenches, back me up here, I cannot be the only with pee and poopy on my mind! Anyway, after playing the Pull-Ups game with my three-year old son for SEVERAL months, I finally reached out to other moms of boys and asked, "How the hell do I potty train this strange creature?!" Girls I can do, I've done, quite easily, and three times, I have to give myself some props here. Okay, I'm done. But this boy being I had no idea what to do with. The resounding answer from my Mom experts was, ditch the pull-ups, make him wear underwear. Yikes! Visions of soiled rugs and loads of laundry swam through my mind. But, I was desperate, so yesterday, I did it. I declared it Underwear Day. My son and I gathered up the diapers and the Pull-Ups and tossed them. He then picked out his Spongebob underwear and pulled them on by himself, agreeing that he is a big boy now! Yea! Well, as the day wore on, we went through another Spongebob, a Lightning McQueen and two Buzz Lightyears, but he did go on the potty several times and stayed dry during his nap. Today is day two and I am happy to report that we are still on our first Buzz Lightyear.

Cyber Love

Like a lot of parents of a tween (preteen), my twelve-year-old has a Facebook profile. And, yesterday, she posted a list of her "besties" (for those of you who may not know, this is today's hip term for best friend), and I was on her list! My heart did a little jump at the sight of "Mommy" on her bestie list! I know, it sounds, okay, it is a little pathetic, but if you're a parent of a tween girl, like me, you understand that they can be difficult and not so loving a lot of the time. She's always mad at me for something, it seems, no matter how hard I try, so I'll take any affection from her I can get, even if it's generated from the cyber world...

Sleep Update

My daughter is sleeping much better, still taking Melatonin most nights. On average, she has been getting up only once or twice a week, which is a MAJOR improvement. Additionally, when she does wake up, she is not screaming, crying or scared, just a bit disoriented and goes back to bed without much problem. So, phew...
On the other hand, my, now three-year-old son has taken to getting up in the middle of the night and climbing into bed with us. And, right or wrong, I'm not about to kick him out...just yet. I know, I know, if I let this continue, it may become a pattern, and I will have trouble getting him to sleep in his own bed. I, myself, have warned other parents and my readers of the perils of allowing a pattern of co-sleeping to develop. But, he's my youngest child and my last chance to snuggle before he takes flight, so I'll take my chances.

Moving On

Just an FYI, I am moving on from the LaPorte County Herald-Argus and will no longer be writing a column for them. I feel that it is time to get my feet wet elsewhere, so to speak. I will be concentrating more on the blog and also dabbling in other things. Thanks for all your support!

Sleeping a little Better

First, I was glad to hear from a family member about this issue. She has a child going through some similar bedtime battles; it's nice to know I am not alone. You know who you are, so, thanks for that, you!

I am happy to report that things are better. My little one has been taking 3 mg of Melatonin at bedtime, per the doctor. I don't think, chemically, it actually does much. However, psychologically, I think it helps--my little one thinks it will help her sleep better, so she does. I don't like my kids to have to take meds all the time, not even herbal supplements, like melatonin, so, eventually, I will be replacing this pill with a vitamin or some other placebo, and see if it still works. We are not cured of sleeplessness by any means, yet. However, my daughter has slept through 4 of the last 14 nights. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it is huge improvement for her.

Sleepless in the Harmon Household

My daughter's night waking continues. Every single night for the past few weeks, she has been getting up. Mostly she just gets up, crying and looking anxious, saying that she can't go to sleep. Some nights she talks incoherently about unimportant things. I'm calling the pediatrician this morning.

Night waking

A few years ago, my middle daughter suffered from night terrors. Which, if you don't know, are not the same as nightmares. Nightmares are bad dreams that, sometimes, wake you up. Night terrors, on the other hand, are when a person screams, cries, walks, runs, and so forth while not fully awake, generally feeling scared or even terrified. My daughter used to wake up screaming, talking but making no sense, yelling for me even when I was holding her, and, sometimes, trying to run out of the house. It was frightening. At the time, the doctor told us that he believed she was having night terrors as a result of turmoil in her life. It made sense--her father and I had just divorced, we moved to a new town, she was attending a new school--yes, this was turmoil. The doctor explained that my young daughter was stressed and couldn't deal with all the feelings she was experiencing while awake, so these feelings and stress manifested themselves in the form of night terrors. The doctor indicated that she would probably just grow out of it. She did. After a few months, they simply went away, and she slept fine every night. Now, my same daughter is waking up often at night. She is not having night terrors, thank the Lord. This time, she is getting up, sometimes crying a little bit, sometimes saying she is scared, but mostly just walking around and talking but not making any sense. I cannot think of anything stressful that is occurring in her life or in our family right now. So, I am puzzled. Do some kids just experience sleep-walking and night waking for no real reason?

I Can Do it Myself!

*As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, November 13, 2010:
I Can Do it Myself!
By, Michelle Harmon

If you have a two or three year-old ragamuffin running around your house as I do, chances are you have heard “I can do it myself!” or “I do it!” (my delightful son's exclamation of choice).
Why the sudden determination?
Well, kids at this age are coming into their own, so to speak. Their personalities are becoming more developed, and they are realizing that they do have some power in this big old world surrounding them. So, when your child insists that “she can do it herself,” she's not being defiant. She is simply letting you know that she is not a baby anymore and wants to show you (and herself) that she is not helpless, she's a big girl, now.
If the task at hand is really something you think your child can do, let him. If he wants to pick out his own clothes, let him. So what if he doesn't have a matching outfit? Unless he's going to get his picture taken or he's off to Grandma's, a unmatching outfit isn't going to matter, but he will feel confident in it because he picked it out himself. If he can screw the cap on his sippy cup, let him. These little acts make your child feel important, why not acquiesce?
One thing to keep in mind when letting your little big kid do things himself, is safety. If he says he can give himself a bath, well, obviously that's a safety concern and you can't let him do that. But, you could let him pick out his own pajamas or wash his own belly. And, I'd wait until he was about twelve before I'd let him cook his own mac-n-cheese.
Another consideration is time. If you take your little one to daycare or preschool in the morning, and he has started to want to do things himself, you may want to allow for more time for getting out the door. It takes a toddler much longer to pull on his shirt and shoes and find his book bag than it takes you.
Finally, take heart, Mama. Your little one is growing up and you have to let him start really exploring his world and learning what he can do. Enjoy it. Enjoy watching him put his shoes on the wrong feet or pulling on mismatched socks. Because before you know it, you'll be watching him pulling out of the driveway.

More Than it Hurts You

*As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, October 30, 2010:
This is Gonna Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You
By, Michelle Harmon

“This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.” You've heard this expression, right? Probably when you were a kid, and it was most likely followed by a sharp whack to the behind, right? Yes, me and my behind remember this expression all to well. I was thinking of it the other day when my eldest daughter told a lie, and my husband and I were disciplining her.
No, we didn't spank her. Spanking, in my opinion, is outdated, ineffective and more about punishment than about actually learning something. I want my kids to learn from their mistakes, so I discipline them, I don't punish them. That being said, I've been around the block long enough to know that in order for discipline to be effective, it has to hurt. I'm not talking physical pain, but the kind of pain that comes with taking one's lumps, so to speak. The only catch is that this kind of discipline takes an iron will on the part of the parent because it hurts the parent, too.
For example, as aforementioned, my darling daughter told a lie and got caught—again. This has been happening far too often with her lately, and my husband and I were racking our brains trying to figure out an appropriate way to discipline her that would actually work. In thinking about it, we determined that the only way to get through to her was to hit her where it hurts (no, not on her backside!). She's 11. The most important thing to any eleven year old is her friends. So, we told her that from now until we decide otherwise, she is to go to school and come straight home after school. No clubs, no sports, no friend's houses, no friend's over. Now, we have tried this before, but I have always caved after a week or so. Not this time; this time Mama is going the distance. My little darling is going to learn her lesson, by Golly, even if it kills me!
No, I am not looking forward to watching her sulk around the house. This will be difficult. I am even less looking forward to the calls from the school wondering why she hasn't shown up for a club meeting or a sports practice. This will be embarrassing. She will have to explain to her teachers and coaches why she has let them down. This will be tough. She will have to tell her friends why she cannot spend time with them outside of school. This will be tougher. Yes, my kiddo and I have a few tough weeks ahead. But, a Mom's gotta do what a Mom's gotta do.

Numbers

*As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, August 14, 2010:
Stop Focusing on the Numbers
By, Michelle Harmon

I think, as parents, we focus much too much on numbers. That is, we tend to go along with societal denotations of our children by the numbers. Like, first in the class, 3.0 GPA, 990 SAT, 1st place, 2nd place, last place, and the list goes on. Granted some of the aforementioned numbers are pretty important, like GPA and SAT scores, but only if your child is serious about college, some aren't. Why I am mentioning numbers? We need numbers to distinguish between people, particularly winners and losers, right? And these numbers never go away, as an adult, you are still labeled in many ways by numbers. So, what can we do?
First of all, take the numbers for what they are. They are simply numerical representations of divisions among a class, a team or individuals. That's it. In the grand scheme of things, these numerical representations don't mean a whole lot. So, do not make them more meaningful (powerful) than they are. During softball season, I was chatting with another softball Mom. Let me throw a few numbers at you: our daughters were in third grade and nine years old. This mother was going on and on about how she was going to switch coaches for her daughter next year because our team was last in the league. I listened, sort of shocked. Did it really matter if the team was first, last, or tenth? This is a kid's softball team. While it is important for learning fundamental skills, social skills, and self-esteem building, it is certainly not that important how the team is ranked. Is it? Your daughter will not be asked during a job interview or a college interview the rank of her third grade softball team. Trust me. So, don't sweat it.
Another number we parents focus too much on is age. The age of our kids. Moms love to get together and brag about the physical and intellectual accomplishments of their kids at any given age. A mom with an early walker will brag that her Johnny was walking at 9 mos of age. A mom with a precocious three-year-old will brag that Mary already knows how to read. While these things are great, again, they do not really matter that much. All kids will eventually walk and read. The age in which they begin is not that important.
The age factor comes into play again as our children begin to get older, to reach adolescence and teenagedom. At this stage you have to start thinking about curfews and when is the right age for dating and so on. Parents tend to get together and form a consensus about the appropriate numbers in regards to these issues. Generally, the parents of Johnny, Amanda, Lexi, and Joanie will have the same curfew as Phil, Larry, Tommy, and Sam's parents. Same thing with dating ages, most of your child's friends or classmates will be given permission to begin dating at a certain age. You will always have the one or two parents in the neighborhood or in the group who are different, who set later (or earlier) curfews and don't follow the same dating norms. I urge you to be one of these parents. Why do I say this? Because all children are different, they are not simply the number of their ages. Some 16 year olds are mature enough to date, some aren't. Some can handle staying out until 12, some need to be home much earlier. You decide for your own child. Don't focus on the number, focus on your child and what you and he can feel comfortable with.
On a final note, numbers will abound from the time your child begins school, but stop paying so much attention to them. Your child is not just a number, after all.

Sending out the Search Party

If I could only give one piece of advice to a new mom, it would be this: don't get lost. Don't get lost. It is too easy to lose yourself in the shuffle of diapers and cleaning and laundry and playdates and lunches and backpacks, etc. Till one day you look around and you wonder, where did I go? Where is that woman I once knew? I don't see her anywhere! You look around your place and all you see our representations of your kids, their toys, their pictures, their drawings, their messes...just them. No you. I think I lost myself somewhere back in 2001 or maybe 2002. I'm sending out the search party.

Different is Good

Encourage your Child to be Different
By, Michelle Harmon, as published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, 7/24/10:

Peer pressure is something that we all deal with almost all the time. Ever look at your neighbor's lawn and compare it to yours? You don't want your lawn to look any less green or maintained than your neighbor's, right? If you think about it, that's peer pressure. It's subtle, but it is a form of peer pressure, nonetheless. Have you ever gone to party for your boss or a co-worker even though you really did not want to go, but you thought that you should? Ever pitch in for flowers or a gift for a coworker you don't like just because everyone else in the office was pitching in? Peer pressure is a reality, and it never really goes away, but when you are a teenager or a preteen, the pressure to fit in, to be like everyone else can be exhausting, scary, and, even, dangerous. So, how do you help your child through this difficult stage in her life? Encourage your child to be different.
Luckily, we live in a society in which individuality is generally celebrated. It's okay not to be like everybody else. Let your child know this, and encourage her to be her own person at every turn. This will help your child to learn who she really is and what really matters to her. This, in turn, will boost self-esteem and give her the tools to fight peer pressure.
For example, if your son asks you to buy him a certain pair of shoes because everyone else has them, refuse. Oh yes, your child will think you are mean, but by refusing you are teaching him that he does not have to be like everyone else. Now, if he had asked you for the shoes because he genuinely liked them and they expressed his own style, then, I'd say, go for it. But, if he only wants them because the other guys have him, then, he does not need them. Encourage him to pick out a pair that are unique to him and his style. This will reinforce the notion that different is good, and he is good and worthy. So, maybe when one of his buddies offers him a smoke in the school bathroom, he'll have the strength to say no.
Summing up, encourage your child to be different at every turn. I'm not saying you encourage your daughter to don rainbow-colored hair and a tutu at school, but you encourage her to express herself, to be herself, not to be a photocopy of everybody else. This will help her to realize that she is worthy and will boost self-esteem, making her stronger against peer pressure. Along the same lines, live this idea yourself. Don't buy a minivan because all the other moms on the block have one. Don't put a windmill on your lawn because your neighbor has one in his yard. Instead, be the only house in your neighborhood that decorates for Halloween. Go all out! Show the neighbors who you are; show your kids that different is good. I can't wait for Halloween this year—my neighbors won't know what hit them!

Not Just a Number

Stop Focusing on the Numbers
By, Michelle Harmon, as published on 8/14/10:

I think, as parents, we focus much too much on numbers. That is, we tend to go along with societal denotations of our children by the numbers. Like, first in the class, 3.0 GPA, 990 SAT, 1st place, 2nd place, last place, and the list goes on. Granted some of the aforementioned numbers are pretty important, like GPA and SAT scores, but only if your child is serious about college, some aren't. Why I am mentioning numbers? We need numbers to distinguish between people, particularly winners and losers, right? And these numbers never go away, as an adult, you are still labeled in many ways by numbers. So, what can we do?
First of all, take the numbers for what they are. They are simply numerical representations of divisions among a class, a team or individuals. That's it. In the grand scheme of things, these numerical representations don't mean a whole lot. So, do not make them more meaningful (powerful) than they are. During softball season, I was chatting with another softball Mom. Let me throw a few numbers at you: our daughters were in third grade and nine years old. This mother was going on and on about how she was going to switch coaches for her daughter next year because our team was last in the league. I listened, sort of shocked. Did it really matter if the team was first, last, or tenth? This is a kid's softball team. While it is important for learning fundamental skills, social skills, and self-esteem building, it is certainly not that important how the team is ranked. Is it? Your daughter will not be asked during a job interview or a college interview the rank of her third grade softball team. Trust me. So, don't sweat it.
Another number we parents focus too much on is age. The age of our kids. Moms love to get together and brag about the physical and intellectual accomplishments of their kids at any given age. A mom with an early walker will brag that her Johnny was walking at 9 mos of age. A mom with a precocious three-year-old will brag that Mary already knows how to read. While these things are great, again, they do not really matter that much. All kids will eventually walk and read. The age in which they begin is not that important.
The age factor comes into play again as our children begin to get older, to reach adolescence and teenagedom. At this stage you have to start thinking about curfews and when is the right age for dating and so on. Parents tend to get together and form a consensus about the appropriate numbers in regards to these issues. Generally, the parents of Johnny, Amanda, Lexi, and Joanie will have the same curfew as Phil, Larry, Tommy, and Sam's parents. Same thing with dating ages, most of your child's friends or classmates will be given permission to begin dating at a certain age. You will always have the one or two parents in the neighborhood or in the group who are different, who set later (or earlier) curfews and don't follow the same dating norms. I urge you to be one of these parents. Why do I say this? Because all children are different, they are not simply the number of their ages. Some 16 year olds are mature enough to date, some aren't. Some can handle staying out until 12, some need to be home much earlier. You decide for your own child. Don't focus on the number, focus on your child and what you and he can feel comfortable with.
On a final note, numbers will abound from the time your child begins school, but stop paying so much attention to them. Your child is not just a number, after all.

Raise a Reader

Raising a Reader
By, Michelle Harmon, as published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, 7/17/10:

Every Mom knows that reading is an essential skill for success in school and, let's face it, in life. Any teacher will tell you that the students who score the best on standardized tests, who have the best grades, and who generally like school are good readers. Beyond just the academic benefits of reading, most of us want to rear children who enjoy reading, who want to read because it's fun, not because the teacher or because Mom says they have to. So, how can we, as Moms, raise readers?
First, start them when they are young. From the time your child is born, read to him. Read him books, not just at bedtime, but as often as you can. Further, when you read to him, ask him questions about the pictures, and, as he gets older, ask him questions about the characters, the plot, and the meaning of the story you are reading. You will not only be helping your child to see that reading is fun, but you will helping him to develop comprehension skills by discussing the books.
Next, be a good role model. Read. Let your child see you reading instead of watching TV or sitting in front of the computer. What your children see you do has a much bigger impact on what they do than you probably even realize. Let's think about it. Kids whose parents smoke are much more likely to smoke when they grow up. Likewise, kids whose parents read are much more likely to read than kids whose parents spend their nights in front of the TV. While growing up, my mother was never without a book. I watched her read every night as a child, and, yes, she read to me when I was little. And, guess what? I grew up to be a voracious reader.
Also, take advantage of your local library. Take your kids to the library often to check out books. However, don't stop there. Take your child to fun library events that will help foster the notion that reading is, indeed, fun. Along those same lines, take advantage of the fact that many books are now ending up as movies. If your child loves wants to see the new Ramona movie, read the book with her first. My middle daughter got hooked on the Twilight series after having seen the first movie. Since then, she has read every sequel.
Finally, you might want to consider instituting a reading hour in your house. This is a time when the TV gets turned off, the phone is answered, the computer is off-limits and every member of the family reads. For younger ones, this may be a time when you read to them. For the older kids, this is a time when it's quiet and they get to read a book of their choice, and so do you. Your child may groan the first time you switch off the TV and declare, “reading hour.” But, eventually, she will begin to look forward to this peaceful time together.
Happy Reading!

Advice for New Moms

New Mom Survival Guide
by, Michelle Harmon, as published in the LaPorte County Herald-Arugus, 7/10/10:

This week's column if for you new moms—the ones over the moon gazing over their precious bundles of joy. The ones wondering when their last shower was, who have forgotten the smell of clothes minus spit-up and urine, the ones whose friends wonder if they will ever leave the house! Here's the deal, new Mama, take a shower, yes, fix your hair, and, for God's sake, get out of the house!
Motherhood is wonderful and, let's face it, a little bit scary when you're new at it. If you've ever watched a new mother with her baby, they are very easy to spot—new moms hover over the baby like they are waiting for it to explode or something! And, I'll bet, if you've been around a new mom and her baby, you probably haven't even heard that baby cry! New moms swoop up babies at the first sign of a whimper!
So, new moms, first things first. Babies cry. They cry because they can't talk. They can't tell you what the want, so they cry. When your baby cries, it doesn't always mean she is hungry, so don't whip out the bottle or the boob at every whimper! Sometimes, they cry because they are bored, tired, too warm, too cold, or over-stimulated. Try other things to ease your babies tears, otherwise you may actually end up over-feeding her and exhausting yourself and ending up with both of you being covered in spit-up—again! Get to know your babies cries. They are different. If you let your baby cry a little and really listen to her, you will begin to learn what a hungry cry sounds like as opposed to a wet diaper cry and so on. Babies are supposed to cry; it doesn't make you a baby mother.
Next, you have got to get yourself out of the house a little. If you're a nursing mom, this may take a little more finesse and preparation, but you can do it. I'm not suggesting you go out and paint the town red or anything. Just enlist the help of Daddy or Grandma or another dependable sitter and go get your nails down, have lunch with a girlfriend, or even just go to the grocery store by yourself. I used to love to just go to Starbucks and sit with a latte and a good book for a few hours by myself when my kids were newborns; it worked to calm me down and learn to really love being a mom. These little outings will do and your baby some good. It's much easier to enjoy your baby and motherhood, in general, when you allow yourself to still be you.
Also, accept help. It does not mean that you aren't a good mom if your mother comes over and cleans the house for you while you get some much needed shut eye. It speaks nothing of your skills as a mother if your neighbor brings you a casserole, so you don't have to worry about cooking dinner. Don't set yourself up for, what I like to call, Super Mom burn-out, from the very beginning! Ask for help if you need it, and, for Heaven's sake, accept it if it is offered!
Finally, don't spend gobs of money on baby clothes—they grow out of them really fast! Do take lots of pictures; don't worry yourself over every little cry or whimper or (later on) skinned knee. Do realize how blessed you are and enjoy the ride...