Lessons from the Playground

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, November 7, 2009:

Lessons from the Playground
By, Michelle Harmon

Driving home from preschool this morning, my daughter told me a story about a student in her class who had lost his “red dog necklace” on the playground. I deduced that this was a red dog tag-style necklace. She continued, saying that the boy was crying because he couldn't find it. She said that no matter what the teacher told him, he still felt sad.
Then, my little preschooler said, “Mom, I told him that I was very sorry that he lost his necklace. I think he was happier when I said that.” Then, she suggested that if he didn't find the beloved trinket, that maybe we could make him a new one. “That would be pretty easy, I think. Right, Mom?” “Yes, I guess it would,” I answered my daughter. I looked at her and smiled, amazed at her intuitiveness and her simple grace. It made we wish that adults thought like children a little more often.
Of course most adult problems are more complex than losing one's dog tag's on the playground. But helping to lift one's spirits can be as simple as saying, “I'm sorry that happened to you” or “you did the right thing” or “it wasn't your fault.” Lifting one's spirits can be as easy as a smile or a spontaneous hug or an unexpected card. Yet, too often each of us is so consumed with our own lives that we hardly notice each other or we pretend not to.
The next time you see a coworker, a family member, a friend, or even a stranger in need of a pick-me-up, give it to them. I promise, you'll be more than glad that you did.
Now that you've learned your lesson and are feeling a bit more charitable, let's think about your kids. How do we foster a spirit of kindness, empathy and generosity in our kids? Well, first, we have to live it. Yes, Moms, it's true—education begins at home. If your child sees you reaching out to your fellow human beings, she will be more inclined to do so. If your child sees you holding the door open for little old ladies, sending sick friends get well cards, and so forth, she will see that this is how people should treat each other.
Also, provide opportunities for your child to be generous, to serve others in some capacity. Volunteer together at a local soup kitchen. Check the Internet for causes that interest you (or your child) and ask your child if she wants to help. Let your child see that you are willing to help, and you may be surprised at how willing your child is to give. She may even give her allowance to the Wildlife Federation or to help feed the homeless. Whatever the cause, whatever the service, your child will love the “warm fuzzies” she feels inside knowing that she has helped someone. So will you. And this will nurture a giving spirit in her that will continue to grow.