Party Time!

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009:

Party Time!
By, Michelle Harmon

Whether you are throwing your child a birthday party or your child is going to a friend's birthday party, there are certain rules of etiquette that should be followed. Rules of etiquette for a kid's birthday party? Yes! Any time you invite someone into your home or rent a bowling alley or a room at Chuckee Cheese and, especially, whenever you expect someone to buy your kid a gift, you must be mindful of those you invite. Furthermore, you want to put your best foot forward, don't you? Well, of course you do! The same can be said when your child attends someone else's party. You don't want your kid being the kid that all the other parents hope isn't coming, do you? Of course you don't.

Invitations--
A word about invitations--(well, actually, two words) informative and direct. Informative—this one's a no brainer—you must inform the potential party guest of all pertinent information, like time and place and your contact information. Direct—make sure to spell out exactly what your expectations are for this party. For example, if it's a pool party, be sure to instruct the recipient to bring his/her swimsuit. If it's a sleepover, be sure to mention sleeping bags, jammies, and so forth. Along these same lines, it's important to note not just the beginning time of the party, but also the end time. You don't want other people's children hanging around all day, do you? Finally, always be sure to include and RSVP date and contact number. Think of the date you provide as the cut off. If someone has not RSVP'd before that date, assume they are not coming. This will save you a lot of hassle if you are doing goodie bags for the kids or if you are renting a place and you need an exact count. If a kid shows up without having RSVP'd, don't turn him away, but don't feel bad if he doesn't get a goodie bag. The RSVP is there for a reason. So, if you are the party-goer, for goodness sake-RSVP!! It is as simple as a phone call.

At the party--
Have a clear plan in mind of what will happen when. That way, kids aren't just running around or, worse, sitting around with nothing to do. Have age-appropriate activities where kids can win little prizes (kids love prizes—at any age!). Be sure that all of the kids go home with something; you have to be fair. Make sure there are enough adults around to supervise the kids. Don't plan on corralling 15 kids by yourself! If you schedule the party before noon, a lunch will be expected, get pizza or sandwiches or some other cheap, kid-friendly fare. I always schedule my kids' parties for later in the afternoon—the party starts after lunch and ends before dinner. This way, all have to do is provide a few kid-friendly snacks and cake and ice cream, of course. It's always wise to check with parents first about any food allergies, and then, plan a menu accordingly. If your kid is the party-goer, be sure to discuss with her the kind of behavior you expect and that the other parent will expect. Also, ask other mom if she'd like you to stay and help out rather than just dropping your kid off. Think about it—wouldn't you appreciate that gesture if you were throwing the party? And, party-goers, NEVER, EVER assume that it is okay to drop your child's siblings off at a party that he was invited to. This seems ridiculous to even mention, but I have had this happen to me on more than one occasion!

After the party--
When parents arrive to pick up their kids, thank them for sending their child and share what happened at the party (if they're interested). If their child happened to misbehave at the party, tell them.
Tell them exactly what the transgression was and what you did to correct the behavior. Do not be afraid to be honest here; it may save you and the other parent a lot of grief in the future. Any thoughtful parent will appreciate your honesty. Within two weeks or so of the party, send a thank-you note. If your child was the party-goer, of course, thank the party-throwing Mom for inviting your child, feeding and entertaining your child—for all her hard work. Because anyone who has ever planned and hosted a children's birthday party knows, it is not easy!