Noah's Animals No-Bake Cookies

This is my favorite cookie to make with the kids for Christams! I'll add a pic, later, after we've made some...

You will need:
2 packages Oreos or other such sandwich cookies
1 big package Animal crackers/cookies
1 package chocolate chips
1 package peanut butter chips
3 tbsp shortening

Line trays or cookie sheets with wax paper.
Combine chips and shortening and microwave about 2 minutes or until melted. You could also use a double-boiler, but the microwave is so much faster and less clean-up! Using a fork, dip each sandwich cookie in chocolate mixture, being sure to coat them completely. Place coated cookies on cookie sheets and top with an animal cracker. Chill in fridge until set (about a half hour). Wallah!! Perfectly delicious little animal cookies!
Very fun for kids!

The Power of Choice

As published in the LaPorte County Herald Argus, Saturday, December 12, 2009:

The Power of Choice
By, Michelle Harmon

Have you ever dragged a screaming (and possibly kicking) toddler out of the store? Or suffered through a trip to the mall with a sulking teenager? Or possibly gotten into arguments with your preschooler over food? If these scenarios sound all too familiar, I suggest you consider giving your child choices.
Giving a child a choice between two things or allowing him to make a decision for himself is not only empowering for the child, but it also takes some of the pressure off Mom. For example, if your child constantly begs you for toys or other various items while you are shopping, instead of saying no and praying that he doesn't launch into a crying, screaming fit, give him some power and choice over your shopping. This will keep him busy and distract him from wanting everything in sight. For instance, when you are in the cereal isle, let him choose between two cereals that he'd like to buy. This way he won't beg you for Lucky Charms or some other sugary cereal. Brilliant, isn't it? You pick the two cereals that he chooses from, so you can pick two cereals that you feel good about him eating, and, yet, he is given the power to choose which one he wants. Everybody's happy! You can use this same strategy for most items you purchase on a trip to the grocery store.
As children get older, the more autonomy that desire. Your pre-teen or teenager, you have probably noticed, is beginning to contradict or question your decisions in regards to her clothes, her shoes, her activities, school, well, most everything. Apply to power of choice. When your daughter emerges from her room dressed for school in something holey, dirty, too short/tight, or otherwise unsuitable, refrain from raising your voice and demanding she go change. This will no doubt start an argument or saddle you with the silent treatment. Instead, go into your daughter's closet and pick out two or three items that are acceptable and calmly tell your daughter that she may not wear said unsuitable garment to school, but that she may wear one of these two (or three) items. She may balk a little bit, but she will change and she is unlikely to have a total meltdown or try to get away with wearing the inappropriate clothes again. She knows what is acceptable now, and she also knows that you respect and trust her enough to let her choose what to wear. Even though, you vetoed her first choice and chose the items for her to pick from, she will remember that she did have a choice and that you didn't try to control her or yell at her.
Food can often be a battle when it comes to your kids. Some kids are picky and won't try new things and some kids only want to eat things that aren't good for them; some kids have hearty appetiteis, and some kids eat like birds. Give your kid choices and dinner time will be less of a battle zone. At dinner, make two different kinds of vegetables and let your child choose which one he wants to eat. If your kid is a junkfood junkie or loves dessert, give him a choice for the week. Tell him he may have one bag of chips or some cookies for a snack each week, and he can choose which day. The rest of the days offer him fruit and other healthy snacks. Let him choose between these as well. For dessert hounds, offer choices between healthy (and still yummy) desserts like jello, pudding or fruit. Then, you can let them splurge once in awhile and offer cake, ice cream, cookies, and such.
Remember, giving your children choices empowers your child, leaving him with feelings of pride and confidence while garnering respect for you. So, relax, set up some guidelines, and let your child have it his way.

Let's Talk about Sex, Baby!

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, September 26, 2009:

Having “The Talk” with Your Kids
by, Michelle Harmon

You know you have to do it; you've been dreading this conversation since your child learned to talk. Now, you know it's time, and you can't avoid having “the talk” with your baby—even though he's no longer a baby---anymore. Stop asking yourself where they time went, why, it feels like yesterday you were dropping him off for his first day of kindergarten, and, now, it's time to talk about sex?! Stop it! You can't control time, it keeps going, no matter how tightly you hold on, one day you turn around and your little guy is a little man and his body is changing, and, yes, mom, (deep breath), it's time to talk.
So, how do you go about it? What do you say?
First things first, let your child know that you care and that is why you have to have this talk with him. No, it's not optional, explain to him, it's important. And, trust me, your child knows more than you think, so whatever you tell him is not going to shock him. Use the correct terms for the body parts, explain how sex works, where babies come from, and, most importantly, explain to your child how to protect himself. Don't gloss over this part. Explain the dangers of diseases and go over the different means of protection that are available. This goes for pregnancy prevention as well. Be sure to differentiate between disease protection and pregnancy protection because, as you know, some methods will protect from pregnancy but not disease. Talk about abstinence. Abstinence, is, of course, the only surefire way to protect oneself from sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies. All moms hope that their children will choose abstinence, but we must be realistic. So, arm your child with all the information he needs to make the best choice for himself.
Next, ask your child if she has any questions for you. She may or she may not. Also, recommend another trusted adult that she may feel comfortable asking instead of you. Recommend an aunt or a grandma or even a teacher; someone who is knowledgeable and who you and your child can trust to give correct information and support to your child. Of course, in a perfect world, your child wouldn't think of asking anyone else but you. However, we are living in reality and the reality is that it is likely that your child may not feel comfortable asking you the tough questions. And, that's okay, Mom, it's better that she gets the information from Auntie instead of her friends, right?
One final tip, you may consider having the talk while in the car with your child, maybe on the way to or back from a game or school. The car is a good place to have these kinds of talks because you don't have to look at each other, which cuts down on the awkward factor. Plus, it's private, there's no chance of a little sister barging in or some other household distraction. Not to mention, there's no escaping!
Next week, let's talk bed wetting. Is it normal? What ages? What can you do about it?

Nap Time

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Sept. 19, 2009:

Nuances of Nap Time
By, Michelle Harmon

Nap time A magical time—a saving grace for many a harried mother. But, like every other aspect of parenthood, nap time is not easy. You can't just arbitrarily lay your baby or toddler down for a nap whenever you feel like. Then, there's the business of when to go from two naps to one and when to stop naps altogether. Not to mention, what to do if you child misses his nap because of a doctor's appointment or other such outing. Nap time has to be carefully planned in order to be successfully orchestrated.
First, remember one very important word: routine. It is imperative that you establish a nap time (and bedtime, for that matter) routine with your child very early, during infancy, if you can. To successfully pull off a nap time schedule, you must schedule everything else. That means that you and your baby get up at the same time every day (yes, even Saturday and Sunday), you serve breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner at set times, and so on. This way you can build a nap into your regular routine. For babies and toddlers, build in two nap times during the day. Younger babies will probably sleep for longer periods, but once your baby reaches 1-1 ½ years old, he will probably only nap for about an hour each time. So, this is the time, when you want to consider going down to one nap—usually, after lunch. Once you have a routine established, your child will feel safe and comfortable and will be more likely to lay down for a nap without much fussing. Likewise, when the bedtime routine is established, your baby will sleep better at night with less fussing and less getting up in the middle of the night, until eventually, she will sleep straight through. Kids who sleep better at night, sleep better during the day at nap time When establishing a routine, keep in mind if your child goes to daycare, make sure you find out what the daycare's nap routine is and make your home schedule the same or very close, so that your child has consistency whether she is at home or at daycare. Bottom line, make establishing a routine a top priority. The pay off is well worth it.
Second, once you've got a nap time established, do your best to schedule doctor visits, playdates, trips to the grocery and such so that nap time is not interrupted. This will save you and your child a lot of frustration because once a child gets off her routine, it can be very difficult to get them back on. Of course, there will be times when you cannot schedule appointments or activities around your baby's nap time If you must interrupt the schedule for a day or two, just go straight back to the routine the following day. It will not be easy and there might be some tears and struggles, but, again, the pay off will be well worth it.
Finally, when do kids stop needing naps? Every child is a different. Some will require naps until age four or even five. Some will function fine without naps by age three. Follow your child's lead on this one. If he fights taking a nap and seems to be fine without one, then he probably doesn't need it. The general rule of thumb is that between 3 ½ –5 years old, children can give up daytime naps.
Next week, we're talking sex. When do you have “the talk” with your child? What do you say?

Bedwetting

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Oct. 3, 2009:

Bedwetting
by, Michelle Harmon

Bedwetting, although, embarassing and frustrating for both the child and the parent, is more common than you think. Lots of kids wet the bed, and they do so for a variety of reasons. If your child is consistently wetting the bed, the best approach is to try to figure out why, then, you can decide which intervention is the right one.
First off, if your child is under 5, bedwetting is completely normal. Children at this age are still growing and their bladder and urinary tracts are still getting the kinks worked out, so to speak. The proper course of action here is encouragement and use pads or Goodnights to keep the bed dry. Also, stop all liquids after dinner. Chances are your child will simply grow out of it. Have patience.
If your child is elementary school age and is wetting the bed, the first thing you want to do is take him to his peditrician and discuss treatment options. He may suggest waking him in the middle of the night to go. He might suggest alarms that are placed on a bed pad that beep when wetness occurs, waking your child up, so he can head to the bathroom. He may also suggest medication. He may also suggest you see a urologist to rule out any infections or other abnormailities. But chances are you kid just wets the bed. Wetting the bed is something that is hereditary, so if someoe in your family was a bedwetter, your child might have inherited it. In this case, it will just stop on its own. Again, patience is essential here.
Also, it is important to note patterns of bedwetting, if any are present. Maybe your child only wets the bed sometimes, not all the time. Note this. Think about what is happening in your child's life at the times she wets. She may be under undue stress at those times, or you may be able to identify another trigger. You can then teach your child some stress-relieveing techniques like exercise, or even yoga to relieve her tense feelings. This may help her to stop wetting the bed.
Similarly, children who wet the bed are more likely to have nightmares or night terrors, which often coincide with bedwetting. No one knows for sure what causes nightmares or night terrors; however, talking to your child's doctor about them can help you figure out what may be causing them and you can help your child accordingly. Counseling is a normal treatment for night terrors. Usually, if the nightmares or night terrors stop, so does the bedwetting.
Bottom line, bedwetting is normal and there is no reason to be ashamed. Most kids simply stop doing it on their own. However, as aforementioned, there are several differents kinds of treatments and interventions available to you. Keep in mind, you'll probably have to try several things before something works, and it is just as likely that nothing will work and you'll just have to wait it out. Your child will eventually stop. Most importantly, never, ever chastise your child for wetting the bed. Nobody wets the bed on purpose. Your child needs your support, not condemnation.
Next week, let's talk about ADD/ADHD. Is it a real disease? What are the signs/treatments?

ADHD

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Oct. 10, 2009:

Lessons in ADD/ADHD
By, Michelle Harmon

The topic of ADD/ADHD is very personal to me. I have been on both sides of the issue. That is, I have been a teacher and have dealt with children diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, both treated and untreated. I am also the parent of a child diagnosed with ADHD. Here is what I have learned.
First, absolutely, yes there is such a disorder as ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Both disorders are characterized by an inability to pay attention, fidgeting, not being able to sit still, forgetfulness, impulsivity, and so on. A lot of people, including some of my coworkers in the school setting as well some of my family members, argue that ADD/ADHD is not a real disorder. The reasoning behind this belief is that all kids “act that way”--that's just how kids are. The fact is not all kids have trouble paying attention or constantly fidget and so forth. Yes, all kids act “hyper” some of the time, but most kids can control it or respond when reprimanded. I will agree that ADD/ADHD may be somewhat over diagnosed, but it is, no doubt about it, a real disorder affecting thousands of children.
Second, there is no shame in it. Not for the child or for the parent. Having a child with ADD/ADHD doesn't make you a bad mom, nor is it something that your child is doing to get attention. Unfortunately, there exists a stigma associated with ADD/ADHD as well as other disorders. Ignore it, Mom, and do what is best for your child.
Third, there are many treatments for ADD/ADHD, and it can take some time to find the right treatment for your child. There is, of course, medication and if you choose to go this route, be sure to do your due diligence and research the different medications and their side effects before deciding to administer meds to your child. Therapy is also a common treatment for kids diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. This can work well on its own or in conjunction with medication. There are other treatments available, such as following a certain diet, behavioral therapy, and so forth. Again, do the leg work. Then, make and informed decision.
Finally, if you are unsure what the symptoms are of ADD/ADHD are, check out WebMD.com or another credible medical website or talk to your doctor. If you think that your child may be exhibiting signs of ADD/ADHD, talk to your child's doctor. I would also recommend talking to your child's teacher or day care provider; your child's teacher probably has some valuable insight as to the behavior of your child. Good luck, Mom.
Next week, body image. How can you make sure your daughter has a good one?

Body Image

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Oct. 17, 2009:

Body Image
By, Michelle Harmon

With fashion models seeming to continuely shrink in size, plastic surgery becoming more like an aceessory than a medical procedure, and obesity rates rising among adolescents, it is no wonder why so many girls are struggling with their body image and why so many moms are trying to figue out how to help their daughters gain and maintain positive body images. Body image is tied to self-esteem, confidence and other factors, so there are no fail safe ways to instill positive body images in your daughter. However, there are a few things that you can do to foster positive body image and help your daughter to love herself and her body.
First, be open. Talk to your daughter about images that you see in magazines and on TV. Discuss her perception and yours of these images and explain to your daughter how altered the images she sees are and that the real person in the magazine probably doesn't look exactly like she does on the cover of Teen Vogue or Cosmopolitan. Ask her questions about herself and find out if she is having any issues about her body. If she is, talk to her and let her know that she has value. Share your own experiences. Likewise, talk to your daughter about the importance of keeping her body clean, about proper grooming habits, and, of course, fueling her body with healthy foods. These things will help her build confidence in her body and herself. Not to mention, build a stronger relationship between the two of you because you are taking care of your bodies together.
Second, never, ever degrade your body in front of your daughter. Never, look in the mirror and declare, “I'm fat!” while your daughter is around. If you are dieting, do not make a big deal about it, this will only make your daughter want to diet, too, or, at least, wonder if she should. This sends your daughter the message that something is wrong with your body, so she might begin to think that something is wrong with hers. Again, stress eating healthy, not dieting.
Third, make sure your daughter stays active, either in sports, playing outside, or other fun activities. Go for walks with your daughter, or go bike riding with her in the summer. Play football outside with the whole family or go bowling. Keeping active will help your daughter realize what her body can do and will keep her strong, in body and in confidence. Bottom line, set a good example for your daughter, be open and talk to her, and you will help her on the road to a positive self-image.
Next week, let's talk birthday party etiquette—do you have to RSVP? Should you drop your kid off or stick around for the party? What about younger siblings, can they tag along?

Party Time!

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, Oct. 31, 2009:

Party Time!
By, Michelle Harmon

Whether you are throwing your child a birthday party or your child is going to a friend's birthday party, there are certain rules of etiquette that should be followed. Rules of etiquette for a kid's birthday party? Yes! Any time you invite someone into your home or rent a bowling alley or a room at Chuckee Cheese and, especially, whenever you expect someone to buy your kid a gift, you must be mindful of those you invite. Furthermore, you want to put your best foot forward, don't you? Well, of course you do! The same can be said when your child attends someone else's party. You don't want your kid being the kid that all the other parents hope isn't coming, do you? Of course you don't.

Invitations--
A word about invitations--(well, actually, two words) informative and direct. Informative—this one's a no brainer—you must inform the potential party guest of all pertinent information, like time and place and your contact information. Direct—make sure to spell out exactly what your expectations are for this party. For example, if it's a pool party, be sure to instruct the recipient to bring his/her swimsuit. If it's a sleepover, be sure to mention sleeping bags, jammies, and so forth. Along these same lines, it's important to note not just the beginning time of the party, but also the end time. You don't want other people's children hanging around all day, do you? Finally, always be sure to include and RSVP date and contact number. Think of the date you provide as the cut off. If someone has not RSVP'd before that date, assume they are not coming. This will save you a lot of hassle if you are doing goodie bags for the kids or if you are renting a place and you need an exact count. If a kid shows up without having RSVP'd, don't turn him away, but don't feel bad if he doesn't get a goodie bag. The RSVP is there for a reason. So, if you are the party-goer, for goodness sake-RSVP!! It is as simple as a phone call.

At the party--
Have a clear plan in mind of what will happen when. That way, kids aren't just running around or, worse, sitting around with nothing to do. Have age-appropriate activities where kids can win little prizes (kids love prizes—at any age!). Be sure that all of the kids go home with something; you have to be fair. Make sure there are enough adults around to supervise the kids. Don't plan on corralling 15 kids by yourself! If you schedule the party before noon, a lunch will be expected, get pizza or sandwiches or some other cheap, kid-friendly fare. I always schedule my kids' parties for later in the afternoon—the party starts after lunch and ends before dinner. This way, all have to do is provide a few kid-friendly snacks and cake and ice cream, of course. It's always wise to check with parents first about any food allergies, and then, plan a menu accordingly. If your kid is the party-goer, be sure to discuss with her the kind of behavior you expect and that the other parent will expect. Also, ask other mom if she'd like you to stay and help out rather than just dropping your kid off. Think about it—wouldn't you appreciate that gesture if you were throwing the party? And, party-goers, NEVER, EVER assume that it is okay to drop your child's siblings off at a party that he was invited to. This seems ridiculous to even mention, but I have had this happen to me on more than one occasion!

After the party--
When parents arrive to pick up their kids, thank them for sending their child and share what happened at the party (if they're interested). If their child happened to misbehave at the party, tell them.
Tell them exactly what the transgression was and what you did to correct the behavior. Do not be afraid to be honest here; it may save you and the other parent a lot of grief in the future. Any thoughtful parent will appreciate your honesty. Within two weeks or so of the party, send a thank-you note. If your child was the party-goer, of course, thank the party-throwing Mom for inviting your child, feeding and entertaining your child—for all her hard work. Because anyone who has ever planned and hosted a children's birthday party knows, it is not easy!

Lessons from the Playground

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, November 7, 2009:

Lessons from the Playground
By, Michelle Harmon

Driving home from preschool this morning, my daughter told me a story about a student in her class who had lost his “red dog necklace” on the playground. I deduced that this was a red dog tag-style necklace. She continued, saying that the boy was crying because he couldn't find it. She said that no matter what the teacher told him, he still felt sad.
Then, my little preschooler said, “Mom, I told him that I was very sorry that he lost his necklace. I think he was happier when I said that.” Then, she suggested that if he didn't find the beloved trinket, that maybe we could make him a new one. “That would be pretty easy, I think. Right, Mom?” “Yes, I guess it would,” I answered my daughter. I looked at her and smiled, amazed at her intuitiveness and her simple grace. It made we wish that adults thought like children a little more often.
Of course most adult problems are more complex than losing one's dog tag's on the playground. But helping to lift one's spirits can be as simple as saying, “I'm sorry that happened to you” or “you did the right thing” or “it wasn't your fault.” Lifting one's spirits can be as easy as a smile or a spontaneous hug or an unexpected card. Yet, too often each of us is so consumed with our own lives that we hardly notice each other or we pretend not to.
The next time you see a coworker, a family member, a friend, or even a stranger in need of a pick-me-up, give it to them. I promise, you'll be more than glad that you did.
Now that you've learned your lesson and are feeling a bit more charitable, let's think about your kids. How do we foster a spirit of kindness, empathy and generosity in our kids? Well, first, we have to live it. Yes, Moms, it's true—education begins at home. If your child sees you reaching out to your fellow human beings, she will be more inclined to do so. If your child sees you holding the door open for little old ladies, sending sick friends get well cards, and so forth, she will see that this is how people should treat each other.
Also, provide opportunities for your child to be generous, to serve others in some capacity. Volunteer together at a local soup kitchen. Check the Internet for causes that interest you (or your child) and ask your child if she wants to help. Let your child see that you are willing to help, and you may be surprised at how willing your child is to give. She may even give her allowance to the Wildlife Federation or to help feed the homeless. Whatever the cause, whatever the service, your child will love the “warm fuzzies” she feels inside knowing that she has helped someone. So will you. And this will nurture a giving spirit in her that will continue to grow.

If Your Kid is Sick, Stay Home!

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, Saturday, November 14, 2009:

If Your Kid is Sick, Stay Home!
By, Michelle Harmon

Just about every weekday, I take my 21 month old with me to the gym. He plays with other children in the gym's daycare while I work out. This hour that I get all to myself is like heaven. Busy moms know what I'm talking about. There is little that keeps me from keeping this date every day. Only two things generally keep me from this daily routine. 1) If my kid is sick, we stay home. 2) If I am sick or have bad cramps, we stay home. The former is what I'd like to discuss here. I repeat—if my kid is sick, we stay home.

One day last week, as I was making my way to the childcare room after my workout, I heard a child coughing like crazy. I was about ten feet away from the door, and all I could think was, dear God, don't let that be Tommy (my son). I knew that it probably wasn't, he wasn't sick when I dropped him off and the likelihood that he developed a seal-like cough in the span of an hour was slim. But, we Moms, we always worry.

I walked into the room and saw my little guy happily playing cars with a little girl and the source of the dreaded cough was standing very near my son, holding a toy car, tears streaming down his face, still coughing—no hand over the mouth, not coughing into his sleeve, just coughing with my little guy less than three feet away from him! The teacher was also there, kneeling by the cougher with a Kleenex, trying to wipe his nose. I swooped in and grabbed up my little man.

I wanted to ask the teacher just why in the heck this little germ-spreader was here. Didn't they have a policy that sick kids are not allowed? I took a deep breath and calmly asked the teacher if the child was sick, why was he allowed at the daycare. The teacher answered that he didn't look sick and wasn't coughing or anything when his mother dropped him off. She continued that, had they known he was sick, they would have told his mother that he couldn't stay. “And, now?” I asked her, not feeling any more relaxed. She informed me that another child caregiver had been sent upstairs to pull his mother out of her aerobics class to come and pick up her child. Well, that's good, at least, I thought.

But the real fault lies with the Mom. Why in the world would a Mom knowingly send her child to daycare if he was sick? Yes, we all need a little “me time,” but not at the expense of the health of someone else's child, let alone your own. So, I urge you, Mamas, if you child is sick—for Pete's sake—keep him home!

And, sure enough, two days later, my son had a cough, a runny nose and a fever. And, guess what? We stayed home.

Just a Mom?

Since deciding to forgo full time work to stay at home with my kids, I have always dreaded the question, "what do you do?" I always felt like I had to list off my credentials. Explain that I haven't always been just a mom--I am college educated, I did do something before this! But why? Why do I feel like I have to explain myself? Why isn't it okay to be just a mom? Being a mom is the hardest job there is, there is no denying that. And, I have recently realized, that is why so many women, frankly suck at it. Any woman can have a baby; any woman can be a mother; but not any woman can be a mom, a good mom, just a mom. It takes hard work, long, arduous hours, no paid vacations, no bonuses, hell, there's no pay at all! Is that why we feel that it does not hold value, that it isn't a "real" job because there's is no time card to punch, no pay day? We have to reevaluate our thinking on what pay is. No a mom doesn't earn any money, but she does earn a big sloppy kiss from a happy toddler, a teary eyed, "I love you" from a timid kindergartner, the joy of witnessing the first word, the first step, the first soccer game. These things are worth a lot more than a week's worth of work at any job I've ever had. And, no, I'm not trying to give you Hallmark-card warm fuzzies here, sometimes the pay downright sucks. Sometimes you feel like nobody appreciates you and you just want to quit! But, you can't, so you keep working, until you get it right and you hit your stride once again and remember that you are doing the toughest job there is, and you don't suck at it. So, the next time somebody asks me, "what do you do?", I will hold my head high, throw back my shoulders, and say with all the pride that only a mom can feel, I am just a mom.

Mom's Daily (Ok not so daily) Five

Top Five reasons to be thankful for kids' birthday parties (when you're the host):

5. At least you know the food/cake will be good

4. You don't have to worry about dropping off and picking up your kid--any time you can break from the chauffer routine is a plus, right?

3. It gives you a chance to be creative

2. You score BIG "best mom in the world points" for this!

1. The look on your kid's face

Swap Mamas

So, recently I have been getting into this website that one of my friends turned me on to, swapmamas.com. Okay, getting into is putting it lightly, it's bordering on addiction! Anyway, let me tell you about it, so you can obsess with me! It is much like eBay, only there are NO FEES, no listing fees, notta! And, instead of money, you exchange things. You post pictures of stuff you don't need or want anymore, like clothes your kids have grown out of, and other moms look at your pictures, if a member sees something on your page she likes, then, she comments on your page. Then, you look at her stuff, and if she has something you want, you swap! It is genius! I have scored some really great stuff, for my kiddos and for myself!
CHECK IT OUT!

Mom's Daily Five

Top 5 excuses to use when your child asks you if she can have a sleepover at your house:

5. Daddy snores to loud--he might keep your friends awake

4. Your sister/brother has a baseball/soccer/etc. game this weekend

3. You didn't clean your room when I asked you to

2. I don't have time go the grocery store and get snacks for you and your friends

1. Why don't you sleep over at Jen/Madison/Helen's (whatever the name) house?

Mom's Daily Five

Top 5 reasons why having your period is a good thing:

5. It means you're not pregnant--again!

4. Hey, at least you're not menopausal, right?

3. It is the perfect excuse to say no when your hubby wants it and you don't

2. You can cry or scream if you want to, you can just blame PMS

1. It is the perfect excuse to sleep in or eat chocolate, or indulge yourself however you like

Mom's Daily Five

Top five reasons why you're glad it didn't rain today:

5. No rain means kids can play outside

4. No rain means no muddy shoes or footprints across your carpet

3. No rain means no thunder or lightning, which equals no scared little ones

2. No rain means garage sales/farmer's markets

1. No rain means no rainy day chores!!

Mom's Daily Five

Top 5 lies it's okay to tell your kids:

5. Mommy always makes her cookies/brownies/etc. from scratch

4. Santa's watching you, so you better be good

3. No, Mommy's never done that (that can me whatever you need it to mean)

2. Mommy always got good grades and never turned her homework in late

1. Yours is the most beautiful drawing (sculpture, model, painting, etc.) I have ever seen

Mom's Daily Five

Top 5 reasons why sleep in sometimes way better than sex:

5. You don't have to be in the mood to do it

4. You can do it alone or with your hubby and it takes the same amount of effort, either way.

3. You can do it for five or more straight hours without getting sore

2. You don't have to worry about waking the baby

1. You don't have to worry about making a baby

Mom's Daily Five

Top 5 reasons to celebrate Back-to-School:

5. You can stop desperately trying to find new ways to entertain your kids

4. Back to school means no more reruns of your favorite shows!

3. Back to school is a perfect excuse to go shopping

2. The kids will be out of the house for 6 hours a day!!

1. The kids will be out of the house for 6 hours a day!!

A Mother Always Knows

A few weeks ago was my, ahem, thirty-first birthday. On this day, we were still in the midst of moving, so my birthday was not on anybody's list of immediate concerns. My hubby, kids, my Dad, and I went out for dinner, and it was nice. But, I couldn't help thinking that this would be the very first birthday I ever had without a cake. My dad, hubby and the kids sang "Happy Birthday" to me at the restaurant even though there was no cake. This lifted my spirits. But, the big surprise came when we got home. My mom, you see, had hurt her back and was unable to go out for dinner with us. She had stayed at home to rest. However, when we got home, we discovered a pretty pink cake sitting on the counter and ice cream in the freezer. My mother had snuck off to the store, injured back and all, while we were at dinner just so I would have a cake for my birthday. I was delighted. Such a seemingly simple thing meant so much to me, and, more importantly, let me know that I was loved. Thanks, Mom.

First Night Away

There are many "firsts" in a child's life--first steps, first words, first tooth, and so on. One such first is the first night away from Mommy and Daddy. Only, I think the achievement and status that comes with accomplishing a "first" belongs to the parents, not the kid. When you leave your child for the first time, you agonize for weeks about how to prepare him for your night away, you make lists for the caregiver, you battle the guilt welling up inside because you know that he will just be traumatized and not be able to survive one night without you! Then, when the big day comes, you hug him and kiss him and he pushes you away or ignores you completely! You should be glad that he didn't freak out--that would have made leaving very difficult, but you have to admit--you feel a little disappointed that he didn't even cry. While away, you call several times (too many) and he is fine. Yes, he ate his food; yes, he behaved himself, yes, he went to sleep okay; no, he didn't have a nervous breakdown in your absence! You've done it, Mom, you've earned the "First Night Away" badge! Doesn't it feel good? Almost as good as when you come home and your child yells "Mommy" or "Mama" and falls into your arms...and you think, hey, I oughta go away more often!

Parenting Through the Period

Sometimes, I think back on my C-section 18 mos. ago and regret not telling the doctor to just take my uterus out with the baby! I don't need it anymore--I've had my tubes tied, I'm done having kids. So, why on why do I have to go through the pain and agony of periods every month?! Let me tell you, my husband and my kids would probably be much happier not to have to tiptoe around me for a few days every month! Parenting is hard every day, but crampy, bloated, headachey days--it is really hard! How can I explain to my 18 month old son that I don't want him to sit on my lap because I'm cramping and his sitting on my lap is excruciating? I can't! So, like a lot of things in motherhood, I just grin and bear it. How do I tell my four year old that I'm too tired to push her on the tire swing or take her to the park? I can't; I'll just pray for rain and blame lounging around the house on the weather...

A Marvelous Sight

I spent the good part of an hour while my little one napped cleaning and scrubbing the bathroom--toilet and all. It isn't the most fun, but a clean bathroom is indeed a marvelous sight! If only, I could get my kids' rooms to sparkle light that!!

Baby Bullies

This week's article is all about baby bullies--that is, toddlers who hit, kick, bite, and so on. I must confess that this topic was chosen because I, myself, have a baby bully! My 17 mos. old son is the bully of the house! He pulls his big sister's hair relentlessly! Hit hits, he flails, he kicks! After reaching out to other moms with similar issues, it seems that the best solution for curbing bullying behavior in toddlers is time-outs. Obviously, toddlers are just beginning to explore their worlds and learn right from wrong, so time-out makes sense because removing them from the situation will eventually help them to see that hitting, biting, etc. will end in being removed from fun. I am utilizing a firm "No" in combination with time-outs, as I suggest to my readers. So far, so good...

Confessions?

There has been some buzz lately about a new book in which real moms discuss their true "mom confessions." Oprah even had the pair on the show today and had other moms from the audience and from around the country discuss their real life confessions---things like "sometimes I wonder why I even had kids" or "sometimes I just go in the bathroom and sit there, just so I can get some peace and quiet" and so on. Oprah yammered on and on about what a great thing it is that moms are discussing these things now. I agree, but I think the real accomplishment will be when we stop calling these things "confessions" and realize that being a mom is freakin' hard, and we should be honest about how it and how it makes us feeel sometimes.

Stop Asking

I just have to vent a bit here. No, my 14 month old son is not walking yet, so STOP ASKING, and, no, I don't care when your baby starting walking. Do you really care if my son is walking or do you just want to point out that your younger child is walking, which, in your wack-job mind makes you a better mom or your child a better kid? Let me tell you something--I could care less when or if Little Johnny or Mary is walking, it doesn't really mean anything. Our kids are not showdogs or racehorses, they will all walk and talk eventually. Why don't we just celebrate being moms and be grateful for happy, healthy children, not compare stats!

Great Book for Preteen Girls

If you have a preteen daughter, or tween as they are calling it these days, and you are wondering just how to broach the subject of her changing body, get her the book, The Care and Maintenance of Me--the Body Book for Girls. This book is put out by the American Girl company. My eldest daughter is 10, and while I think I am pretty good at explaining things to her and am fairly confident that she wouldn't be afraid to ask me anything, I wanted to make sure that I hadn't forgotten anything and that there wasn't something that she was too embarrassed to ask--or something that she or I didn't think to discuss. So, I picked up this book. It covers everything from hygeine to periods to eating disorders. It is, I think, a great tool for parents and a great reference for girls.

Australia

Hubby and I watched the movie, Australia, starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman a few nights ago, and I thought I'd share my opinion of it. On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the best, I'd give it a 3. The scenery was beautiful, and the movie was narrated by the main character, an Aboriginal child, which I loved. I have a real proclivity for movies that are narrated. I think this may have began when I saw Mermaids, with Cher and Winona Ryder, for the first time (if you haven't seen this, check it out). Back to the outback, the plot was interesting, though, I would say not terribly original. Nicole Kidman's character reminded me a lot of Scarlet O'Hara in Gone with the Wind--spoiled rich girl forced to grow up and get her hands dirty, realizing what's really important in life---and, in both cases, land turns out to be the thing "worth fighting for." So, all in all, the movie is worth watching, if for nothing else, watch it for the Jackman eye candy.

Ugh...Middle School

My oldest daughter is experiencing her first bout with teasing. A boy in her class has been mercilessly teasing her, calling her names, and, in general, making the school day miserable for her. I remember going through this in middle school and how low I felt even though I knew, deep down, that what the teasers were saying wasn't true. As a mother, it is very painful to know that your child is being hurt but that you can't kiss the boo-boo and apply a Scooby-Doo band-aid and make it all-better. It is also very difficult to figure out just what to do about it. My instinct was to go to her school and talk to the punk myself or go to his house and have a word or two with his mother. But, I knew, I couldn't do that. In the end, I spoke to the teacher, and he spoke to the child's parents. He also checks in with my daughter to see how things are going. This makes me feel a little better; at least she knows that she has an advocate at school. I told my daughter that the best thing to do is to ignore the teasing and pretend like it doesn't bother her. I also told her that this would be the hardest thing to do, but I explained that the boy just wants a reaction and if she responds or cries, then, he will continue. If he thinks that she is unphased, he will eventually get bored and probably start picking on someone else. I also told her that boys at her age (10) are immature idiots who don't know what to say or do, especially if they like a girl. I told her just to keep her chin up and know that she is the better person. Just ignore him, he is dirt, I said. Unless he touches you, then, you beat his ass!

Secret Windows

A follow-up to On Writing, Stephen King wrote a book entitled Secret Windows containing essays and short stories on the craft of writing. The volume also includes some of his earliest writings, previously unpublished. Anyway, I am currently reading this one, and, again, I must say that I find it fascinating and rather useful. However, unless you are a horror fiction writer or are considering the genre, you probably won't find it as useful, but it is nonetheless fascinating. Check it out.

On Writing

I just finished Stephen King's, On Writing, and I must say to any writer, beginning or veteran, this is a must-read. As a rule, I am not a huge fan of Stephen King (though, my mother is). I have read several of his novels, but only really love a few of them. That being said, I read a reveiew about On Writing on one of the writer's websites I visit often and decided to check it out. I was so glad I did. I found the book inspirational and undeniably honest. Stephen King is a straight shooter to a fault and tells a beginning writer, like me, exactly what she needs to know. You learn what things are crucial to becoming a successful writers, and maybe more importanly, what things aren't (even though that might seem to be). The book is a delightful mix of information and memoir. He tells how he "made it" as a writer and you feel those struggles and successes right with him. Read this book!

Do as I Tell You

Last night, I was up late, and I turned on Fox News, I don't know what possessed me! Anyway, Gretta Van Sustern was interviewing Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's teenage daughter, you remember, during the election she was the pregnant one. Now, she the one with the new baby boy. Bristol was discussing how she was going to be an advocate against teen pregnancy, and she wants to tell girls to just wait before they have babies because it isn't glamorous. I commend her for wanting to get this message out. But, isn't it a tad presumptious for her to assume that she is somehow qualified to speak out against teen pregnacy when she was a pregnant teen? Why would any teenager listen to her? Further, I would argue that if she goes around talking against teen pregnancy and keeps getting interviewed and so forth, that her campaign against teen pregnancy may actually prompt more teens to want to have babies. She may make it seem glamorous, even though she says it is not. It's like the old, "don't do as I do, do as I tell you." Nobody wants to hear that crap!

Octo-moron

I'm sure that everyone has heard about the stupid woman who recently gave birth to octuplets. Not only does this irresponsible woman have eight babies, she already has six young children at home. Wait, it gets worse, she is unmarried and lives with her parents in a three-bedroom house. What the f--? What was this moron thinking? I'll tell you what I believe the method to this woman's madness is--she figured that having 14 children, especially 8 at once would make her famous. She thought she be the next Jon and Kate Plus Eight and land herself a show on TLC. Sorry, honey, first of all, you don't have a Jon--nobody wants to watch a single mom living with grandma and grandpa chase around fourteen kids! Not to mention, the legalities, here, legally, how many people can live in one house? Did she think of this? And, of course, where is she going to get the dough to provide for fourteen little ones? She says that she isn't planning on going on welfare--okay, just what is she planning to do? This could turn into a child neglect or even child abuse situation, I think. God help her.

And one more thing, this selfish, stupid chick is keeping me from watching the new episode Law and Order: SVU tonight. This in unforgivable--it's an awesome show! Instead, NBC is airing an interview with this reject! ARRGHHH!!!

In Print

I am proud to say that I am officially a published writer. "Mom's Eye View" is in print and will be featured in the Community section of the La Porte Herald-Argus every Saturday. Hopefully, this is only the beginning...

Please e-mail any comments/questions/suggestions to momseyeview@gmail.com.

A Sweet Surprise

Saturday was my husband's stepmom's and dad's 33rd anniversary. Today, my husband surprised me with two bags of dark chocolate kisses, three chocolate oranges, and a box of dark chocolate-covered cherries (I love dark chocolate). It was totally out of the blue; he said that I deserved it for all that I do and that he was looking forward to us reaching our 33rd year. Such a surprise, who knew my big truck-drivin man was such a softie?!

The Real Super Bowl Upset

Like most people, I was watching the Super Bowl on Sunday and looking forward to the oddball and, usually, humourous commercials that customarilly accompany it when, much to my dismay, I saw female race car driver, Danika Patrick, in, not one, but two provocative commericals, one in which she was naked in the shower. What the f---?! Why can't one female role model keep her clothes on? This one, in particular, infuriates me because Danika Patrick is a role model for young girls, succeeding in a sport that is dominated by males, showing little girls (including my own) that they can do anything, that GIRLS can do ANYTHING, even be race cars if they want to! Now, she goes and blows the whole thing by taking off her clothes in Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears-style gratuity! It is really disgusting! What has she shown young girls now? That they can succeed, but still have to objectify themselves to maintain their celebrity?! No wonder more and more elementary-age girls are developing eating disorders or becoming sexually active! It is really hard as a mother to teach your daughters one thing whilst they are bombarded with the opposite every single day.

Cellular Madness

When did cell phones take over the world?! Do people really have so much to say and whatever they have to say, can it really not wait until they get home? It's out of contol! Even more annoying is the kids. Kids with cell phones. Why the hell does a kid need a cell phone? Parents will justify this indulgence by saying that they need it to call because they have sports practice or band or whatever. Gee, I was in extracurricular activities in school, too, and I didn't have a cell phone. I just told my mom when it was time to pick me up, and she picked me up. Do coaches/teachers change their mind all of the sudden and decide that practice will last longer or be cut short? No, they don't. I know, I was a teacher and a coach. There's a thing called a schedule and if you have to change it, you let the student and the parents know--in advance. Now, when a kid is old enough to drive and is going out, I can see why a parent would want them to have a phone. That makes sense, but an eight year old with a phone is just silly, not to mention a major distraction--for the kid and for everyone around him.

Hey, Jealousy

I know it's ridiculous to let a ten year old make you cry, but, Moms, back me up, has your child ever said something that just cut you and even though you didn't want to cry, you did? My daughter received a gift certificate to the movies for her birthday. I had planned on taking her, just me and her, I thought she'd appreciate some one on one time. Then, yesterday, she asks me if she can take the gift card with her to her dad's because she wants to go to the movies with her dad's girlfriend. I said, I thought we were going to go together. She responded by saying that she would rather go with her dad's girlfriend. She might just as well have slapped me in the face! I was stunned. She would rather go with my ex-husband's girlfriend! When did this nonperson become such an important person in my daughter's life? I know I sound cruel, I know. And, yes, I'm glad that she likes her dad's girlfriend, but she's a girlfriend, not a stepmom. If she was a stepmom, I might be a little more understanding. I'm a stepmom, so I could relate. And, yes, I realize that means that I was once my stepsons' dad's girlfriend. And, I'm sure his exwife felt like I did, wondering when I'd oozed my way into the family without her noticing. But seriously, my ex has had five girlfriends--that I've met--since we divorced. Why should I think that this one will last? So, why is my kid becoming attached to her? I can see no good coming from it.
And, ya know, it's just not fair, of course my kid thinks that this chick is fun, all she and my daughter's dad has to do is entertain them for 48 hours every two weeks. That is it. They don't help with homework, enforce bedtimes, make sure they clean their rooms, and on and on. As far as I'm concerned, they are akin to babysitters. Babysitters entertain the kids and make sure they don't get hurt until the real parents come home. Same thing here. It's so unfair! I will always be "the bad guy"! I am so jealous! Irrational, maybe, but that's why they call it the green monster.

Weighty Issue

My oldest daughter has an appetite that surpasses mine and sometimes even my husbands'! At first I figured that she was just going through a growth spurt. I decided to just wait it out. It was just a phase, I assured myself. But, then, it didn't stop. It still hasn't stopped. She still outeats me at meals and always seems to be hungry. According to the doctor, she is above average for weight but also above average for height--he says, she's fine, just keep an eye on what she eats. No kidding! Of course, I keep an eye on what she eats, but what good does that do? I try to serve healthy, home-cooked meals as much as possible, but even healthy food will make you put on weight if you eat a ton of it! I am so torn as to how to handle the situation. I have tried it both ways; I have not said anything and let her eat until she's full, and I have limited her intake, I have set proportion limits and denied her sweets and seconds. In both cases, I have felt uneasy and guilty. I can't let her become a fat kid; I know all too well the woes of a chubby kid. Not to mention, I want her to develop good eating habits that she will, hopefully, carry into adulthood. On the other hand, when I place restrictions on her eating, I am afraid that I will make her want to eat more in my absence or hide food and develop an eating disorder, or I fear that I will make her paranoid about eating to much and develop an eating disorder. My parents never placed limits on my food intake, and I have battled bouts of bulimia and overeating. But, then, you see kids whose parents are strict about their diets and gobble fast food and chug down sodas when their parents aren't around. So, what is the best approach? I guess education. If I educate my daughters about food and nutrition and reading labels and what's good and what's not good, shouldn't that help them to make good choices as they get older? Or, will it lead them to obsess about food and what they eat and cause a myriad of problems?