Let's Talk about Sex, Baby!

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, September 26, 2009:

Having “The Talk” with Your Kids
by, Michelle Harmon

You know you have to do it; you've been dreading this conversation since your child learned to talk. Now, you know it's time, and you can't avoid having “the talk” with your baby—even though he's no longer a baby---anymore. Stop asking yourself where they time went, why, it feels like yesterday you were dropping him off for his first day of kindergarten, and, now, it's time to talk about sex?! Stop it! You can't control time, it keeps going, no matter how tightly you hold on, one day you turn around and your little guy is a little man and his body is changing, and, yes, mom, (deep breath), it's time to talk.
So, how do you go about it? What do you say?
First things first, let your child know that you care and that is why you have to have this talk with him. No, it's not optional, explain to him, it's important. And, trust me, your child knows more than you think, so whatever you tell him is not going to shock him. Use the correct terms for the body parts, explain how sex works, where babies come from, and, most importantly, explain to your child how to protect himself. Don't gloss over this part. Explain the dangers of diseases and go over the different means of protection that are available. This goes for pregnancy prevention as well. Be sure to differentiate between disease protection and pregnancy protection because, as you know, some methods will protect from pregnancy but not disease. Talk about abstinence. Abstinence, is, of course, the only surefire way to protect oneself from sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies. All moms hope that their children will choose abstinence, but we must be realistic. So, arm your child with all the information he needs to make the best choice for himself.
Next, ask your child if she has any questions for you. She may or she may not. Also, recommend another trusted adult that she may feel comfortable asking instead of you. Recommend an aunt or a grandma or even a teacher; someone who is knowledgeable and who you and your child can trust to give correct information and support to your child. Of course, in a perfect world, your child wouldn't think of asking anyone else but you. However, we are living in reality and the reality is that it is likely that your child may not feel comfortable asking you the tough questions. And, that's okay, Mom, it's better that she gets the information from Auntie instead of her friends, right?
One final tip, you may consider having the talk while in the car with your child, maybe on the way to or back from a game or school. The car is a good place to have these kinds of talks because you don't have to look at each other, which cuts down on the awkward factor. Plus, it's private, there's no chance of a little sister barging in or some other household distraction. Not to mention, there's no escaping!
Next week, let's talk bed wetting. Is it normal? What ages? What can you do about it?