I Can Do it Myself!

*As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, November 13, 2010:
I Can Do it Myself!
By, Michelle Harmon

If you have a two or three year-old ragamuffin running around your house as I do, chances are you have heard “I can do it myself!” or “I do it!” (my delightful son's exclamation of choice).
Why the sudden determination?
Well, kids at this age are coming into their own, so to speak. Their personalities are becoming more developed, and they are realizing that they do have some power in this big old world surrounding them. So, when your child insists that “she can do it herself,” she's not being defiant. She is simply letting you know that she is not a baby anymore and wants to show you (and herself) that she is not helpless, she's a big girl, now.
If the task at hand is really something you think your child can do, let him. If he wants to pick out his own clothes, let him. So what if he doesn't have a matching outfit? Unless he's going to get his picture taken or he's off to Grandma's, a unmatching outfit isn't going to matter, but he will feel confident in it because he picked it out himself. If he can screw the cap on his sippy cup, let him. These little acts make your child feel important, why not acquiesce?
One thing to keep in mind when letting your little big kid do things himself, is safety. If he says he can give himself a bath, well, obviously that's a safety concern and you can't let him do that. But, you could let him pick out his own pajamas or wash his own belly. And, I'd wait until he was about twelve before I'd let him cook his own mac-n-cheese.
Another consideration is time. If you take your little one to daycare or preschool in the morning, and he has started to want to do things himself, you may want to allow for more time for getting out the door. It takes a toddler much longer to pull on his shirt and shoes and find his book bag than it takes you.
Finally, take heart, Mama. Your little one is growing up and you have to let him start really exploring his world and learning what he can do. Enjoy it. Enjoy watching him put his shoes on the wrong feet or pulling on mismatched socks. Because before you know it, you'll be watching him pulling out of the driveway.