One Day at a Time (New Kid, Day 7)

Since finishing the "new kid" section of Dr. Leman's book, I have been diligently putting the principles into practice and with much success. However, it has not been easy. My biggest issue, I think, is my affinity for threats and warnings. That is, I often find myself saying to one of my kids, "if you don't do this...." or "if you do that one more time..." I had a moment like that yesterday with my middle daughter, and as the warning was coming out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn't be saying it. According, to Leman, you should never threaten or give your child any warnings. But, I just could not stop myself. It was like verbal diarrhea, I just couldn't control it! Other than that, the past few days have gone really well. Though, I must admit that we've been so busy shuffling around from one softball game to the next, that it's hard to really say.

Tonight, I had another incident, again with my middle daughter (I'm sensing a pattern here); I told the girls to brush their teeth and get ready for bed. My middle child proceeded to completely ignore me and putz around the house. I could feel myself growing angry and, again, I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't (or didn't). I yelled at her. She, then, gave me a look and stomped off to her room. I knew I shouldn't, but I followed her in there and started to lecture her. In the midst of my lecture, I realized how utterly stupid I was being. She wasn't listening to a damn thing I was saying, and I knew it. I slunk out of the room feeling like I was right back at square one.

I sat and thought for a few minutes and decided that maybe I could salvage things a bit. Maybe the situation wasn't totally beyond repair. So, I went back into my daughter's room and apologized for yelling at her. I explained to her how she made me feel when she didn't listen to me. And, ya know what? I think she finally was really listening to me. I kissed her goodnight. And, she said, "I love you, Mom."
This made me feel good. I am human, and I will mess up. But, I have a newfound confidence now in knowing that if I fail to follow through with Leman's teachings sometimes, it doesn't mean that I am a failure as a Mom. And, my kids don't love me any less for it. And, like they say in rehab (not that I've ever been): "One day at a time."