Tortured by Puberty---AGAIN!!!

I am a mother to a tween ( I guess we call them tweens, now, not preteens anymore). My tweenie-bopper (that's the word I like to use) is nine and has entered into the hell of puberty. That tortuous stage of life when you don't feel like a kid anymore, but sometimes you really want to be, but you feel like you might be growing up, and sometimes you want to be, but you are really afraid. And, you figure that everyone else must notice that you are different--they don't look different, maybe it's just you.. You remember all that, don't you? Somehow we all survived, but, now, I have to live with the pain of watching my daughter go through it, knowing that I can't really do anything to help her, not really. Her body is changing; she is becoming defiant, and moody. And, I find myself not knowing how to talk to her. I remember feeling what she is feeling, but I can't seem to express it in a way that isn't totally uncool (to her) or embarassing for the both of us! And, I am starting to freak out a little bit because I feel like she is growing way too fast! I literally feel like she is slipping through my fingers, the daughter I knew is being replaced by a new one, and I don't know how to talk to her! I feel a sense of panic! I feel like a failure, even. Adding to my worry is what I am hearing from other mothers of tweeny-boppers. Last night, I was reading posts on the at the Babycenter Community website in a group for moms of tweens and teens, and a lot of the women commented that their 9, 10, and 11 year old daughters were getting their periods, wanting to wear make-up, had boyfriends, and were wearing bras--real bras, not training bras!! I was horrified! Since when are 9 and 10 year olds getting their periods!! I am not ready for this! Somebody help me! "If I could turn back time... "Oh, Cher, where are you when I need you!?