Beyond Stranger Danger

Beyond Stranger Danger
By, Michelle Harmon, as published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus, 4/17/2010

Upon discovering that my eleven year old daughter was getting up in the wee hours of the morning and logging on to Facebook, my husband and I decided to deactivate her account and change the e-mail address the account was linked to so she could not get back in. We had already deactivated it before this, but she figured out a way to get her account reactivated by having a new password sent to her e-mail address. We figured this out, finally, and, hopefully, have put a stop to early morning Facebook use. During this ordeal, we also discovered that she was friends with an astonishing number of older teenage kids and had several pending friend requests for individuals that she did not even know. Further, there were several inappropriate posts on her page made by her so-called friends. My daughter failed to see that having friends on Facebook that you don't know in real life is dangerous. We had tried to explain this to her before we allowed her to open a Facebook account, but, apparently, she hadn't gotten the message. There was a clear disconnect here.
I have two younger daughters and, although they are much to young to have a Facebook account, we felt that the message we wanted to convey to our oldest daughter was applicable to our younger two daughters, as well. We explained that there are bad people who lurk on Facebook and other social networking sites and pose as young kids to try and find young kids and possibly do harm to them. We explained that it is very easy to pretend that you are a fifteen year old girl when really you are an adult man. We further explained that posting pictures of yourself and describing things in your life, like playing in a softball game or going to a specific school, makes it all the more easy for a bad person to find you if he wants to. I think my oldest finally got it. She is no longer allowed to have a Facebook account at all until she's older; we are not taking any chances.
As my younger two daughters sat and listened to this, I could see that they were a little concerned but mostly confused since they have little experience with the Internet, let alone Facebook. We conveyed to them that a child always needs to be aware of her surroundings and must never go anywhere or even talk to a stranger for any reason. We discussed a few scenarios and asks the girls to tell us what they would do in certain situations. To my great relief, they seemed to know. We made a point to tell them that they should never accept a ride or go anywhere even with an adult that they know like a teacher or a coach, unless Mommy or Daddy say it's okay. Unfortunately, you never know.
A little while after the discussion, my five year old came up to me crying a little and told me that she was scared about what we were talking about. I felt a little bad, but I would rather her be a little scared than gone. I assuaged her fears by explaining that I was almost always with her, so she was safe. And the times when I wasn't, like at school, as long as she remembered what we had told her she was safe. She stopped crying, smiled, said “okay” and went off to play. It makes me a little sad that a five year old has to live life with a little fear, but we cannot deny the world we live in.