A New Kid, Day Two

Well, this morning, I made the mistake of telling my child do brush her hair more than once. I ignored Leman's, principle of "say it once, turn your back and walk away." I knew better; I just couldn't let it go. I didn't want my daughter to go to school looking like she just rolled out of bed. So, I reminded her to brush her hair more than once, and I was treated to exaggerated sighs, grumbles, and an eye roll. Dammit! I know better! Say it once, turn your back and walk away! I will do better next time...

For Tuesday, or in my case, Thursday, Dr. Lehman asks, "What is your attitude towards your kids? How does your behavior reveal your attitude?" My attitude towards my kids is generally one of acceptance; however, I tend to get impatient with them and react rather than respond to some of their transgressions. I raise my voice too much and this behavior conveys a negative attitude, which, in turn, helps to foster a negative attitude in my children.

Dr. Lehman asks, "What changes do you need to make in your behavior toward your children?" First, I need to respond rather than react. If Peyton yells at Tommy, I need to respond by calming telling her not to yell and, then, calming disciplining her if she fails to listen. What I do not need to do is react to her yelling by yelling! Duh! Furthermore, I need to stick to my guns. That is, as Dr. Lehman puts it, "B cannot happen until A is completed." For example, if I ask Isabelle to put away her clothes, and she fails to do so, I do not take her to softball practice until it's done, even if we end up being late...A must be completed, before B happens. This is a hard one to stick to, but I think it is one of the most important principles Dr. Leman teaches in the book.

Finally, Dr. Lehman asks, "What kind of character do you want to be known for? How can you get there?" I obviously want to be known as a person of good character. That is, someone who is dependable, honest, courageous, and kind. So, I must be all of these things, not just for myself but for my children. Afterall, character is most important for parents; the ultimate goal of any parent is to raise thoughtful, hardworking, honest children who will become thoughtful, hardworking, honest adults.

Day Two Outcome:
I continued to use (mostly), Leman's "say it once, turn your back and walk away" technique today with some success. I did fall back into old habits a few times and "get after" the girls to do something that I had asked. I feel a little bad about that, but, at the same time, I feel good that I now recognize the habit and am working to change. Further, I realized today that, sometimes, due to tiredness and/or frustration that I am sometimes short with the kids and am coming across as such. I can now see this attitude mirrored in the girls. This I must change.
Overall, I consider today a success. I am looking forward to tomorrow, though, I must admit I am looking forward with a little trepidation because this is not easy. But, I know that it's worth it.