Learn to be Flexible

As published in the LaPorte County Herald-Argus:

Learn to be Flexible
By, Michelle Harmon

Like any mother of an almost-two-year old, it has occurred to me that I must begin arming myself for one of the many feats of parenting—potty training. Having potty trained three children successfully, and virtually painlessly, I should enter into this realm of parenthood with my youngest toddler holding my head high, confident in the knowledge that I know what to expect, that I can be patient, that potty training is a battle I can win. And yet, I approach the potty training of my son with much trepidation. I have never potty trained a boy before—all my other children are girls!
As is my way with most everything, when I am unsure or I don't know a lot about something, I do two things. First, I hit the books (and the internet) and read up on the topic. I have done that and have learned that boys generally take longer to potty train than girls, they tend to have more accidents than girls, and, yes, you do indeed start them out sitting down on the potty before you try to teach them how to stand and go potty without spraying all over the bathroom. Feeling more informed but not that much more confident, I decided to do the second thing I always do when faced with a parenting obstacle—ask other moms.
After talking to my Mom friends who have potty trained their sons or who are in the midst of doing so, I learned that the information I gleaned from the books and the internet was fairly accurate, though, you always have that one mom in the group who has no trouble at all with potty training or anything else, for that matter (you know the one!). Now, I felt armed with information and comforted by the encouragement of my Mom friends. I decided that I was ready. It was time to purchase the potty chair, the Pull-ups and begin introducing my son to the toilet. My son loves cars, and I found the perfect potty seat—a Cars seat with roads and street signs and cars on it—he would love it! I left the store feeling excitement about commencing potty training. He would be super excited about the potty seat, and I would have no problem getting him to sit on the chair. I was on a total Mom-high when I got home! I could not wait to see my son's face when I pulled out that awesome potty seat!
Once home, I unwrapped the potty seat, thinking it looked even cooler out of the box, and I happily placed the potty seat in the bathroom, knowing that my little man would get such a kick out of this seat that he would have no trouble sitting down on it, and, thus, beginning the potty training! So, called my son into the bathroom. He came toddling in, happy as a clam, that is, until he saw the potty seat. He took one look at it and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him out of the bathroom, crying! I was dumfounded. I brought him back into the bathroom and touched the potty seat, saying, “See, look at the cars! Now you can go potty like a big boy!” My son would have none of it. He cried, “No, bite!” and hid in the corner of the room, eying the potty chair (and me) suspiciously and crying. At a total loss, I scooped him up and took him out of the bathroom. I couldn't believe it! My potty seat dreams were shattered! Where had I gone wrong?! My son thought the chair would bite him! Why on earth did he think that? I have no idea.
After thinking about this incident later, I realized that this episode was just another lesson I had to learn about parenting a toddler. Toddlers are trying to make sense of the world around them and, as they do so, they may act out irrationally, they may even break your heart, but the lesson is that you just have to be flexible. Everybody learns how to go potty, eventually. Just as every toddler eventually will sleep through the night or give up his binky. As a mom, you just have to roll with the punches (and the wails and the screams) and give up a little control. With a toddler, almost nothing goes according to plan. That night, I hid the potty chair and decided to rethink my strategy.